Title: The Taste of Cranberries (TOS, Sarek/Amanda, G) Author: Arachnethe2 Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [G] Codes: Sarek/Amanda Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount Pictures. This is a piece of amateur fan fiction. I make no many of it. Sumary: this is the sequel to Lauras' story Cranberry Wine The Taste of Cranberries (TOS, Sarek/Amanda, G) Written by Arachnethe2 My steps are echoing, oddly lonely, on the stones in the now empty streets of Shikahr. I went into the night as many nights before, to be alone with my mind, which is defenceless against the chaos in me. What am I hoping for? To find peace? To calm down the screaming soul in me, to find the balance again? I am setting my feet on the path in front of me, but inside I feel that I'm falling into an abyss and still haven't reached the bottom. I know, what you are waiting for, Amanda. I have seen it in your mind during our calm lovemaking this night. But I still have not come so far. The only thing I can do is to weep in your arms, and I'm thankful even for that. "I'm sorry" -- this sentence doesn't exist on Vulcan. My people don't apologise for mistakes and failures. All that we are supposed to do is a conclusion of our logical behaviour, and whatever happens... ...what is, is, kaiidth. No one can change that, not even I. And they didn't say it, when they called me and told me about the outcome of our son's Koon-ut-kalifee. They said a lot about logic and tradition, and I have seen and must acknowledge, that every step has been made according to our law. But why did it hurt so much? Why does it still? I left them and from this day on I am avoiding them. Even T'Pau. I receive her calls, her orders, but I am not answering, I am refusing to obey, while I'm looking at the old holos I took many years ago. I didn't want this. I didn't know, that the rules, which Were not used over millennia, would strike so cruelly against our son. For them all is over now, so what is, is, and let us go on. But from this day on I see them in an another light. In a light which I have used to see the other people and the humans too. For me, nothing is the same anymore. But what should I do now, when I was raised to the knowledge, that to kill is illogical? That no one gives harm to you on Vulcan? What should I do, knowing, that my own people have hurt my child and I was not there to protect him? As I always tried to? I don't know, what to do. There is no rule for this situation. And there is no one to blame for it. So I am drowning in my inner chaos, falling, feeling the pain around my heart. Suddenly I go down onto my knees. The pain is stronger this time... I can't breath for a short moment... I am searching for you in my mind. I can imagine you, sitting in a chair, drinking the cranberry wine, which you like so much. Cranberries... I would like to taste the wine on your lips. Bittersweet, like your life with me. An expensive drink for a woman, whose character is as rare as this small red fruit in the desert. I know you. One day you will raise them even on Vulcan's Forge. End ------------------------------------------------------------