English is not my native language, please forgive me my errors. Feedback has been always welcome by me. Trecksmut Illustrated Moment: Return from those Places (K/S PG-13) Written by Arachnethe2. The house was full of women and children. The few men living there were old, so they have had not to go to the front, to die there for the country and Fuehrer. No one of the people has known him and he has known no one of them. But he was lucky for it. For the pity were the last thing, he has wanted after his return of those places. He possessed nothing as he came into this house. He slept onto the floor, in his only clothes, until the women had lost their patience and brought him a bed, a chair and a table. He thanked them for it, although he has no idea, where they took the things from. They brought him some food too and called a nurse to see after him. He was somehow thankful for all this caress. But the women only waved her hands and continued in their daily work: to clear the streets from the ruins, to wait in long queues for some potatoes, bred and milk, to walk from one department to the another to search after their lost husbands, fathers, brothers, sons... They have lost their grace and beauty. There was only weariness in their faces and if they had smiled, the smile never reached their eyes. It was the time of agony. The whole Germany looked like a cemetery with people hanging around, being lost, belonged to nowhere, to no one. And he lived like them, from one day to the another, in the presence, which didn't reached his mind. But still he continued to search after him. Although the possibility to survive was more as small. But he still continued in his task, because he simply didn't know, to do something else. He went to the Americans, to the Russians, to Red Cross, to the church, to the new Jewish community. And every time he has forced himself to say his own name and not to flinch and shoot out his number he has been over seven years. And every time he felt the blood in his face and looked embarrassed at his feet, his cap holding tightly between his thin fingers. He was ashamed of his shyness, of his still existing reflexes, whose tried to tell him, that he was not Tiberius Kierck but number 3475623. And then the people has seen that tattoo on his forearm and became curious. A German in a concentration camp? Why he was there? Was he a communist? A social democrat, a catholic priest, a dissident writer? Or was he a deserter from the eastern front? But he only shook his head and gave them a ghost like smile. At last, he said this is not important any more--he has survived. He has known, that if he would tell them the truth, they would not understand. He has been there, because he has loved a man. At last during his last visit of the Jewish community he got the certainty, that there was no hope anymore. The rabbi introduced him to an old Jewish man. Grauersohn? He is searching after Spock Grauersohn? Yes he has met him in Auschwitz. At the end of the war they were all delivered to Treblinka. Treblinka has meant always the sure death. The old man shook his head. He was sorry, but to survive there was simply impossible. He has lost his whole family there: his wife, his brothers, his seven children. He remained alone. What should he do now? Tiberius has left the old man and the rabbi and headed for his home. He didn't cry. Tears were something, which were forgotten there as first. He has know anyway, that the look in Spock's eyes, as they has seen each other the last time, was a farewell. They met at the Military Academy in times, when the shadows in brown shirts, were held only for groups of some extremists, whose didn't deserve much attention. They were class mates at first, then they helped each other to pass the exams. At last they became close friends. But as Tiberius returned from his holiday back to the school, Spock were there any more. They said to him, that Jewish are not allowed to enter the Academy. He didn't know, what happened farther with him. He continued his studies, he graduated successfully and went to the army to serve to the country - like his father, and his father and his father... But all the time he was sure, that with his friend something in him went for good. They met again years later and the difference between them both could not be greater : Tiberius the high officer of Wehrmacht and Spock wearing yellow star on his coat. But this all vanished as they looked in each others eyes and found their souls being mirrored there. They have to hide their love. Their encounters were secret. They were afraid for each others live. Tiberius reminded Spock frequently to put his star on the coat soon enough, when he left his, and now theirs, apartment. And Spock was shaking secretly, knowing that he is a danger for his mate. Intimate relationships with the Jewish were forbidden and the homosexuality too. But during their encounters all this disappeared. The cruel world remained aside the door. There was only love there and gently touches, kisses, passion of the lovemaking. The bittersweet agony of being one in this only moment, which has became the only thing to live for, because there was nor future for them. He didn't remember later, how it could happened. Were they not careful enough? Were they announced by some anonymous, dutiful citizen? He didn't know. But one night gestapo stood on the threshold of his door and arrested them both. There was no chance to lie to them, it was even impossible to try to tell an another story to them. The men in black leather coats were too quickly in the bedroom and have seen there the unmistakable signs of their lovemaking. The time on the police presidium was contained only beating, questioning and beating. Were they alone, have they met another like them? He better should not try to fool them, they know already all. A week later he got a visit. It was his superior officer from the army. He still could not understand how it all could happen. Tiberius was the hope for Wehrmacht, for the country. How could a young man, intelligent, talented, skilled, looking like the perfect model of a member of the higher arial race, turn to such pervert. Hearing this, Tiberius wanted to vomit at his immaculate polished boots. What he has known about love? Spock he has seen only one time. They met by accident on the floor. He was just brought to his cell and Spock... He didn't know. He has recognised him only by his black eyes and had seen a silent farewell there. The judgement was clear: guilty. He was brought to Buchenwald together with other of his kind, marked by a rose triangle as a sexual pervert, with the notice in his files, that his return is not required. But he has survived those long seven years. Although he has never believed he would. Being alone, his family dead, he returned to the same town, to the same apartment, where he was happy for so short a time. He was sitting by the window, unable to thing anything He was still not able to cry for Spock. He was only aware of the certainity, that this is the end of his search. "Good evening." A thin man stood suddenly before him. "It was open, so I have allowed myself to step in." Tiberius stood up. The voice... "I'm searching after a man, who was living there before the war." The face of the unknown man was hidden in a shadow. But with the last sentence he stepped closer... Tiberius's heart stopped: the ascetic face, those beautiful black eyes, the hair turned white. My god it's HIM! "Spock?!" Was the only thing he could say. And then he dropped onto his knees in front of him, his arms around his waist, his face buried in his body. And the next moment Spock was on the floor holding his friend in his arms: "Tibes..." They looked at each others. "They told me, you were in Treblinka." "Yes, I was there..." "Oh Spock..." He felt the first tears on his cheeks... There was a soothing hand in his hair and a quiet question: "And you, Tibes?" He got a little of him, to look better in his eyes: "Buchenwald." He sobbed now uncontrollably. "Spock, I'm so sorry..." Again he wrapped him in his embrace. He was so thin. He put his hands under Spock's coat and moved them up along his ribcage. So thin. He could clearly touch the ribs under the shirt. Spock's coat opened wider and then something caught Tieberius attention: He moved the garment aside and revealed a yellow star. "No," he croaked, feeling a wave of rage in him. "Tibes, I have found the shirt by a dead man. It is only, what could keep me warm..." But he didn't listen to him. "No," he shook his head wildly. And before Spock could stop him, he grabbed this star ripped it out and then tore it apart and again and again... until there were only tiny pieces of yellow garment spread on the floor, on their knees. Tiberius was shaking, he looked at his hands then at Spock, crying aloud. "I'm sorry, Spock... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." It was not the apologise for a piece of garment... "Tibes... Shsss...," he took him in his arms again, kissing his eyes, the tears on his cheeks, then his mouth... "Spock, I'm so sorry..." "Tibes, don't apologise... You don't have to. Not you, never you... I love you...don't apologise..." End. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------