Title: The Space in Our Blood Author: Arachnethe2 Series: TOS Code: PG-13 Pairing: S/Saa Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount Pictures, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, made for no profit. Summary: And still he can't leave the Earth. "big, old secrets of the nature, that only from a human a human could be born, that the leaves and the roots are forming a tree and the blood of our thoughts travels trough the universe." The Space in Our Blood Written by Arachnethe2 The window of his bedroom remained always opened through the whole night. He closed it only, when the winter temperatures in San Francisco reached the lever, which was really unbearable for his Vulcan nature. Not that the other nights wouldn't be less, than cold. He always slept full covered with his blanket almost to the top of his head. But still he kept this strange custom, never mind, that his muscles got often stiff in the morning. For outside of his apartment was the night sky with the stars and that opened window seemed to bring him closer to them. Years ago he stopped to ask himself, if this particular habit contained even a bit of logic. But at last he gave up. They all had this strange custom. They - who once got trapped into the spell of the stars, their light onto the black velvet surface, which since the universe was born, have awakened this strange longing in the planet-bound creatures. A longing to reach out their bare hands and touch them. Sometimes he stood at night by this opened window and watched the dark sky. The stars weren't much visible in San Francisco, being over beaten by the millions of light bulbs in the street lamps and neon commercials. But still their calling was strong enough, to come to him through the shiny barrier. Yet still he resisted their songs, although the only wish he had, was to return back to them. For he couldn't leave the Earth. It was, when Jim died and the universe didn't stop its rotation. Only someone very special went for good. They all knew, that it would happen one day. But never they could imagine, that it would be so soon. And that it would be him of all. Perhaps the years, spend under his command have lulled them into a paradox certainty, that there will be always a possible way out. And now he was gone, for one day to another. And although they all knew, that this would come one day, still it caught them almost unguarded. Almost. Almost, because they were from the stars, they were the travellers into the very depths of their souls. For this they have left all behind, destroyed all bridges and their gaze holding straight, they have challenged every rule of the universe. Jim was gone and with it possibly everything, which might Spock still bind to Starfleet. Many speculated, even more of them preached it for sure, that there will be a big career awaiting him in the Federate Diplomatic Corpse. But he let them wait - all the diplomats and urgent missions. 'He had some serious reasons,' he kept telling all, whose dared to ask. He still couldn't leave the Earth. He knew it too good, when he and his friends settled together in a small restaurant after Jim's memorial. Silently he watched all the oh so goo familiar faces around him and knew with a painful certainty, that with Jim's death something started to move. And himself, he couldn't prevent it - this time for departures. This was, why he didn't left the Earth. Yet still there were the stars, which were calling after them. Those shiny spots spread all over the black velvet. And they all were even with their last breath trying to tougch them. Scotty followed few years later. He had an appointment with Spock at the Moon Starbase Seven. They both were invited to examine an new warp technology, which was just right in the pilot phases of development. Spock came from Earth and Scotty should come from Mars, where he was living by his nephew. But when all but Scotty have left the Spaceliner, Spock new, that there was something wrong. The captain have asked him to come on board and brought the now very silent Vulcan into the shuttle restaurant: Scotty sat still in one of the chairs, the glass of his favourite scotch was splited at the bottom right to his boots, while the mans eyes were starring out of the window past the thick walls of the Starbase. They were searching after the stars in the moment of his passing. The nearby called doctor have diagnosed a sudden hearth collapse. It all went too quickly. Scotty didn't suffer much. "A good death," McCoy quoted, when they were sitting in an restaurant after Scotty's funeral. And although Spock asked himself, why should be a death suddenly called in this way, when humans obviously... But he skipped any farther speculations, because the others around him only nodded in appreciation and himself, the Vulcan didn't want to disturb their grieving in a such impolite way. Years passed by and Spock still remained on Earth. From time to time he left the Solar System for a short diplomatic mission, which never lasted longer, than a standard week. He still couldn't leave the Earth. He taught at the academy, participated in various science projects, he even accepted a post of the Vulcan ambassador for one period, when his father was too busy with the negotiations in the Kahle'than system. He lived in a small apartment near the Telegraph Hill and day for day he switched between the academy and the embassy. The town around him remained still the same: shiny in the sun and dreamy, while drowning in the fog. His spare time he spent either in the park or in the wharf. There he breathed the salty air of the Bay, he let the cold breeze blow over his face. There was a boat, which he had to care for, as its previous inhabitant did with all the love and admiration. Spock's Vulcan mind could provide all the details of the familirar scene: Jim sitting at his heals, painting carefully the boat's name at the wooden surface: Edith Keeler. No, Spock still couldn't leave the Earth. But then there came that message and it seemed, that the sun over the Bay will pale in grieve. It was, when Spock came home after three days sailing atthe sea and found a heavy coded message onto his terminal: it was coming directly from the Starfleet HQ and the few sentences there forced Spock to close his eyes for a moment, while his hands have closed in fists and then helplessly they opened again. Excelsior disappeared somewhere at the edge to the known space. Weeks after weeks all Starfleet ships were searching after the tiniest trace, which could be both: the hope or the deadly determination. And finally the wreck was found. Marked with the big letters, which told so clearly the name of the once so proud space cruiser. But what happened to the crew? No one could give any answer. The search after possible survivors continued for long, although the untouched shuttles and no sinle missed rescue unit on board could told clearly, that all the efforts were futile. That night, when the Starfleet announced officially, that all the searching was ordered to stop, Spock spend in a deep meditation. But at the end he was only repeating an ancient Mantra, old like the Vulcan itself, which asked the first Beings in the deepest desert for the redemption of the lost souls of his friends. Pavel and Hikaru. The stars were both for them: the life and the death. Spock looked out of the opened window and almost wished, to never hear their calling. He had still to stay on Earth... ...and now more and more because of Bones, who suddenly started to slip away. At first it was a bad cold during an unusual hard and long winter down in Georgia and then another one followed with ever more fewer and finally, when the pale spring came, he was delivered in the University Clinic in Atlanta. Getting this message, Spock broke all current projects and cancelled all meetings. Literally he made the small clinic to his home, sitting at his friend's bed reading, talking, remembering. Bones was brave the whole time, he joked, argued, greeted the nurses with a charming smile and drew the doctors nuts with his sharp comments about their work. But in his eyes were already a silent farewell. It was in the middle of the night, when Spock, while reading a PADD fell suddenly asleep for a short moment. A fresh breeze awoke him and when he opened his eyes, he starred only onto an empty bed. An opened door to the room signalled nothing good. With a cold spark in his spine, Spock stood up and went out to the floor. An opened window at its end showed a breathtaking sight onto the night sky with thousands of stars and under it, lying at the floor... 'They called him and he obeyed their order.' It was only, what Spock able to think think, when he gathered the limb body into his arms. Nyota outlived them all. During all the years, while he had visited her frequently in central Africa, she became a beautiful old lady. She lived by her family in an large village somewhere in the savana, always surrounded by a group of children, always having some sweeties and a good story for them. Many times Spock witnessed her storytelling, while his Vulcan mind memorised for ever her soft voice and the bright eyes of the small listeners. "The life in space didn't make it possible, that I could have one of my own," she told to him one day, "so I have made them all to my own anyway." "You would make a good mother, Nyota," he answered back and meant it. She smiled at him in response and then the jeep came to bring him to the nearest airport. He always turned back, when he left and always he found the same familiar picture of hers and the children waving him in behind. And always he returned this human custom willingly, knowing, that there in this place he will be welcome whenever he will come again. One day she simply asked him to visit her and then she signed off. And Spock left the embassy sat in first plain, knowing, what will come. He almost didn't recognised her. Only her large eyes were still here, in a pale face, framed by the white hair. The night came and she asked her people to leave her alone with her friend. Reluctantly they all left the house. "You know, why I have asked you to come here." Spock nodded. "Yes," Nyota nodded too, but more for herself, "it's time... Spock...?" "Nyota..." "I would like to die under the stars..." He lifted her up easily. She was so light. And then passing the grieving people outside, he went into the savana. He knew, that they have looked behind them in a painful silence and a wordless farewell. The stars onto the night sky were so close, that one almost would think, that they could be touched with bare hands. He knelt into the yellow grass, his weightless burden holding carefully in his arms. "They are beautiful," she said, while looking at the dark sky. "Yes," he said hoarsely. "Don't grieve," she turned her gaze toward him, "I have been called, my time had come..." And then, very gently she touched his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, savouring this unexpected caress. "Spock... look at me..." A bit hesitantly he obeyed. Her eyes were full of stars. "We all will meet you at our appointed place." And then she was gone, forever. Her face was very peaceful and in the light of the stars the most beautiful. He turned back when his jeep brought him back to the airport. But she wasn't there in the crowd of waving children. Lonely like never before he returned to San Francisco, knowing, that now the time came to leave the Earth. And then all of a sudden this woman crossed his way. He didn't expected anything important from this half political/half military conference, which was taken in the main building of the Starfleet Academy. He attended only reluctantly, almost against his will. He was already about to make the first necessary preparations for his departure. He knew, that the next few months will be a hard proof for his Vulcan patience. In his thoughts he was already among the stars. Clad in a deep green robe - the colour for Vulcan grieving - he stood at the window and watched the fog, which still hid the look onto the Bay. "I grieve with thee..." A female voice said behind him. He turned toward its owner a bit surprised, because of the strange accent, which was neither human, nor Vulcan. "Captain Saavic..." He didn't hear about her for years. He didn't see her ever longer. He didn't speak with her since the day, when they stood at the main entrance of the Klingon Birth of Pray. She - just leaving - he right now coming back. He heard about her from time to time. About her career in starfleet, about the one of the most excellent commanders of a space ship. "I was taught by the two best men," she should once said and Spock knew, whom as the *two best men* were meant. But all, he felt, was a regret and a bit of guilt, although this was rather illogical. It wasn't his fault, when after so many years still the few holos of him and the small girl were already mirroring the information in his head, yet still without any resonance of the true memory. She was one of the two or three things, he still couldn't remember. It was told to him many times about her and her life with him and he could reconstruct from the gained data in the various reports the tragic happenings on the Genesis. Jim was the one, who told him that she should be killed instead of David and that David has thrown himself between her and the Klingon's knife. Perhaps Saavic left too, because Spock reminded her onto the one, who died on the Genesis...? But at last, everyone died in his own way on Genesis. Yet now, while facing her at the academy corridor, Spock felt the past rising inside of him. The past both of them knew and remembered. The memories - and not only the painful ones - which both of then could share. He invited her for dinner and then to a short strip with his boat around the Bay. It was good to be in accompany of someone, who understood without any explanation, who could listen and then share back. It was as if good old friend would return back unexpectedly after so many years. It was good, that she was there. It felt right for him to reach after her one evening. And it was like a healing brush, when she responded back. The window of his bedroom was opened to the night full of stars. And although they paled against the lights of the city, their calling reached the Vulcan who was lying awake in his bed. He felt Saavic's breath against his neck, her hair spread all over his chest and all the time he was asking himself: why? Why, her? Why know? The stars were calling him and he was ready to go. The night wind brought fog from the Bay, covering the stars, there seemed to be some golden sparks in the air, a picture of burning candles and a feeling, that the time seemed to stop for a moment, when the spaces switched and an awareness of something eternal brushed Spock's mind. "She is beautiful," said a voice, which Spock would be able to recognise in the crowd of thousands. "Jim..." But it was true: he was sitting at the edge of Spock's bed smiling his smile, which warmed the Vulcan into the last corner of his mind. "What...?" "What ever it might be, my friend," Jim's smile widened ever more, "but its me, anyway..." His gaze slid back to Saavic. "And she is beautiful," he repeated again. "But I still don't understand, why now?" "You mean, why she came to you after so many years?" "Yes..." "Silly Vulcan," Jim laughed in delight, "why you should require an answer for everything?" He leaned forward to his friend: "think simply, that the stars have send her to you." "The stars?" "Yes, the stars. And put your eyebrow down." Spock sighed. "For years, you were here, planed-bound. It's time to leave." "And she?" "She is the one of our kind. She has the space in her veins, like you and me and all our dead friends. If she wouldn't understand it, then no one." "Should I leave her...?" "...to come back again. This is our way. The stars are possessing us. Once we have left all behind to obey their calling." "No regrets, Jim?" "Are Vulcans ever regretting anything?" Jim leaned back again, "we all knew the prise, when we went into the space. It has been always high..." He smiled again. "Take you chance. Even the most unexpected one. Nothing is granted to last forever, not ever the stars." The fog behind the window was changing into the white milk. The time started to move again. "Jim..." "The stars have send her..." "Jim, wait..." "Take your chance..." "...my friend..." ...but he was already gone. The space switched back, the time was already running again, outside of the window the fog covered the whole city. Saavic moved in her sleep, pulling herself closer into his embrace. The air got chilled. Spock threw a warm blanked over them both. Jim was right. They have the space in their veins. They have heard the call of the stars. Their blood was singing the songs about travels through the eternal night. Their eyes were focused somewhere to the horizon of the known world, eager to step over it and take the dimensions into their hands. To leave all, to pay the prise, to burn the bridges, to join the bunch of the same kind. No regrets, no guild, no promises, no bonds. And no farewells. Because when one stayed in behind, the others will continue farther for him. Because they all have made an appointment at the other side of eternity. Outside the room, behind the fog, which tonight came from the Bay, the stars were calling. End. ----------------------------------------------------------------