Title: The Ultimate Argument Author: Arachnethe2 Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: [G] Codes: S/Mc Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount Pictures. This is a piece of amateur fan fiction. I make no money off it. Summary: Give Mr. Spock a leave and you will see the outcome. English is not my native language, please forgive me my errors. Feedback is always appreciated. As always, my thank belongs to greywolf my editor. The Ultimate Argument (TOS, S/Mc, G) Written by Arachnethe2... ...for TJ, sydvick and Robin The door of the turbolift opened: "Jim, you won't believe what this greenblooded bastard..." "Hi, Bones..." "...has done! You gave him four weeks of leave ..." "Is everything all right in sickbay?" "...and this is the outcome!" McCoy held the PADD directly under Kirk's nose. "What's happened?" The captain looked directly in the doctor's face instead of the display. Simultaneously he focused the corner of his left eye on Spock, who was right now busy with something fascinating on his science station. "What's happened?" McCoy increased the amount of decibels in his voice. "The Vulcans have hacked our CocaCola formula, with the remarkable help of your Mr. Spock!" This time Kirk focused his full look on Spock's back. "Really, Spock?" The thin fingers continued their dance on the keyboard. "Spock!" "Yes captain?" Kirk groaned, while the bridge crew suppressed their giggles. "Is it true?" "Are you referring to the Coca-Cola Project of the Vulcan Academy, captain?" Kirk gave him a very patient smile as an answer. "Yes I took part in it," he clasped his hands behind his back -- a sign for a longer explanation. "Six point four two months ago, the High Vulcan Council sent a request to the Coca-Cola enterprise in Atlanta, to tell us the contents of the syrup. But the members of the Board of Directors refused to answer." He turned to McCoy: "We Vulcans have the right to know what we are consuming." "If you're objecting to what you're drinking, then don't buy it." "Affirmative, Doctor. The Vulcan High Council announced that the contract with Coca-Cola has been broken. In the future we will buy only by the new agreement." "By whom?" "By Pepsi, doctor." "What?" McCoy choked. "Did you hear that, Jim?" He turned to the captain and pointed in Spock's direction: "By Pepsi! I can't believe it. Those damned Vulcans are going to attack the symbol of the American South!" "Ah, Bones, aren't you overestimating this whole thing, just a little? Only because you're from Atlanta?" "Goddammit Jim, can't you ever acknowledge that I'm right, even though you're from Iowa?" "Bones I..." "Doctor McCoy is right captain," Uhura turned to them both from her communication station. Kirk felt his own eyebrows lift themselves up. "True, also," the lieutenant continued, "I have to mention the big civilising role, which Coca-Cola played in Africa." To Kirk's dismay McCoy beamed at the woman, his charm of a southern gentleman turned up to its highest level. Uhura smiled back and continued toward Spock: "However Mr. Spock, thank Coca-Cola that my ancestors stopped eating the white Christian missionaries." McCoy's grin faded. "Not to mention," Chekov said from his navigation conn, "that Coca-Cola has been always the most powerful weapon on Earth." This time the Vulcan had to lift his eyebrow, while Kirk slowly surrendered to the fact, that his crew had decided to fool their CMO. "A powerful weapon, that was not developed in the Soviet Union, ensign?" Spock's voice revealed a hint of amused irritation. "If you will make a historical analysis, you will find out that Napoleon had failed to conquer my country, because of cold, Hitler had failed because of cold, but Coca-Cola not, because it has been always served cold. And that's while the red tovarischees have forgotten the only right nourishment of Russian people: vodka, bread and garlic -- the only guarantee to fulfill the five years plan in our collective farms." Kirk saw there was a big grin on Chekov's face. What was on Bones' face at this moment he did not only not dare to look, but even think. "As for the team of scientists," Sulu really didn't hesitate to come with his own bit to the discussion. "I can only congratulate their success. Once, some Japanese scientists tried to do the same, but the whole thing took too long. In the end they got frustrated, and committed ritual suicide." Kirk heard an inarticulate sound coming from the place McCoy was probably standing now. He really could not tell whether the good doctor spoke out his satisfaction, that Coca-Cola had knocked the Japanese down, or a wish that Sulu should commit hara-kiri, too. Kirk felt that he had to say something now. "Ah, Mr. Spock," he turned the command chair back toward his first officer, "why were the Vulcans drinking Coca-Cola?" McCoy throw a dark look at him. The tension along the whole bridge tightened. "Well," the Vulcan was wearing the most innocent look in his face, "the primary reason for it, captain, is the big amount of calories in the drink. This helps my people, who live in the desert, to supply their bodies with enough sugar and simultaneously with water." 'A logical reason', Kirk thought, 'how else.' "Of course the Coca-Cola which was exported to Vulcan, didn't contain any caffeine nor any CO2." Kirk could bet at this moment, that his crew was suppressing various sadistic pictures of Vulcans opening hot cans at, for their planet usual, temperature of forty five degree of Celsius in a shadow. "But," the first officer continued sternly, "after the team of scientists had discovered, with my help, what Coca-Cola contains indeed, the only logical decision was not to import this drink any more." And with those words he turned from McCoy back to his station. His move gave the doctor the rest. "And that's all you have to say?" He yelled out. "Spock dammit, you are half human. Don't you really feel anything?" Kirk was turning to face the upcoming catastrophe. "Of course, you don't. It would be the biggest miracle in the universe, if you would be able... But no, this would be against your holy logic." The bridge crew bit their lips, while Kirk started to pray for red alert. Please! Klingons, Romulans, space anomalies... "If you'd show for just one moment a little of your emotions..." That's enough! He was the captain here, so he should do something, this whole thing has gone too far. Kirk opened his mouth to... ...never say a word: With one swift movement Spock turned from his station, made the three steps toward McCoy with an astonishing speed and before Kirk or anybody on the bridge could react, he grabbed the stunned doctor and kissed him. The kiss was long and ravishing and McCoy could do nothing but surrender to the wet tongue, which parted his lips, invaded the inside of his mouth, sending an arousing shiver down his spine. The bridge seemed to disappear. He didn't realised, that he had dropped his padd, that he almost would fall too, if he had not been supported by two hands, which held his shoulders in an iron grasp of the Vulcan's force, the fingers digging in the flesh through the blue fabric of his uniform. After an endless moment the Vulcan released him and, still panting, he said almost gently: "Shut up, doctor." And then, ignoring the hanging jaws of his captain and the whole bridge crew he returned back to his station. End. ----------------------------------------------- _____________________________________________________________________ Posting to ASCEM is easy--just send your messages to ascem@earthlink.net To subscribe or unsubscribe to the mirror list **and for ALL other list-related inquiries** write to asceml@aol.com